Monday, March 2, 2015

Career Fair For Liberal Arts Majors

By Caroline Drew

As graduation fast approaches for the class of 2015, the job search is undoubtedly on. College seniors across the country are eagerly applying to positions with the hope that, come May, they might leave the nest of Mom and Pop and fly into the "real world" an employed adult.


After some extensive research, it became apparent to this reporter that, for some students, the search ended long ago. A myriad of finance, business, and engineering majors were offered positions as early as August. Furthermore, I found that students in these majors (and those similar) are frequently bombarded with events known as "career fairs" in which their resident university hosts a number of companies looking to employ those with relevant skills. There are consulting firms, banks, insurance agencies, research facilities, etc. However, it soon became quite clear that a significant part of the student body was not going to have any luck at these so-called "fairs." I am, of course, referring to the liberal arts students.

"Students who choose to major in the liberal arts are simply not offered the same amount of exposure to the career world as, say, a business major. That's where we come in," commented Erica Poller, the brains behind the new and forthcoming career fair events specifically tailored to the liberal arts major.

"Every student who completes a college degree should feel like it was actually worth something. And my team and I truly believe there is a position for everyone."

Poller was kind enough to provide a list of the organizations and companies who would be present at her fair. The list includes (though is not limited to) the following:

- Starbucks Coffee Company
- Dunkin' Donuts
- Anthropologie
- Cutco Cutlery
- Fed Ex Office Print and Ship Center (the Kinko's section)
- Dog Walkers of America
- Teach For America Janitorial Staff
- The Babysitter's Club
- Your Grandparents' Basement
- Welfare
- T-Mobile International

"I saw a need and I decided to fill it. Does that make me a hero? Well...." Poller stopped speaking at this point, but she went on to wink, nod, and mouth you betcha before high-fiving herself.

Not just any student will be allowed to attend the career fair for Liberal Arts majors. Students must be able to prove that they are pursuing a degree in a valid liberal arts field such as English Literature, Art History, History of Art, History of Literature about Art, Artistic History of the English, or Communications.

"It used to be that I was humiliated at the career fairs," shared Wake Forest women' and gender studies major, DJ studies minor, Taylor Brows. "My resume just read I'M SORRY. But now, now I could get a job! A real job! I gotta call my parents."

Brows did, in fact, precede to call his parents on the spot. Though I couldn't hear all his parents said, I did hear at least one shout of "BUT WE PAID SO MUCH MONEY FOR YOU TO DO THIS."

So there you have it: a new batch of 2015 graduates is preparing itself for the road ahead. Good luck to you all!

(....but mostly the liberal arts majors. you guys need it.)


note: Accounting, pre-law, and pre-med students were not mentioned, though it should be noted they are safely secured on a decided job path as well...those lucky bastards.


Monday, February 2, 2015

PSA: The Lilting Banshees Are Not Terrible People

I have now been a member of the Lilting Banshees Comedy Troupe for almost four years. It has, without question, been the best part of my college experience and I could not have asked for better fellow troupe members. They are kind, they are silly, they are smart, they are motivated. Most of us are loud, some of us are quiet. We all love making 4/20 jokes and watching laughably bad movies ("The Room" is a troupe favorite). 

Most importantly, the main thing every Banshee shares is a desire to make people laugh. The addendum to this desire is that we want to make people laugh but we do not want to do so in a way that is hurtful or ignorant. Recently, a WFU student felt one of our sign jokes (we put up signs before each show) was offensive. Instead of talking with us directly about the issue this student felt it was better to attack our group through a Facebook status. The joke in question was this: 

Tourette's: Brainstorming out loud.

Now, even though I do not agree that this joke is offensive, I can see why someone else might. Maybe it's because I started watching "The Office" when I was 11, but I think tasteful jokes which deal with a possibly sensitive matter are often the best kind (I suggest watching the episode "Diversity Day" if you want further evidence). However, the fact of the matter remains that if this student (or anyone else) had approached a Banshee about this joke we would have taken it down without debate...as we have always done in the past.

The reason I feel the need to respond to this status is thus not because this student found our joke offensive. They have every right to not like our jokes. The reason I am responding is because the status (and some of its comments) made it seem like this was a troupe filled with people who believe they are in some way above the rest of the student body. It implied that we were a group who would purposefully make jokes with the sole intention of hurting a group of people with a medical condition. It suggested that Banshees don't care at all about the reactions of our fellow students, even when it is one of hurt feelings.

THIS IS NOT TRUE. THE LILTING BANSHEES ARE NOT TERRIBLE PEOPLE. We do NOT take ourselves seriously (do you think we could be in a sketch comedy troupe and take ourselves seriously?) and we do NOT purposefully ignore the sensitivities of our fellow students.

If you want to know more about my thoughts on the matter please feel free to read the message I sent below to the student who posted the status. And if you have any questions or concerns about the Banshees please feel free to contact me. I love this group more than anything and I could not be prouder to call each member of the Banshees my friend.



Hi (name redacted),


I wanted to write to you in regards to the status you posted earlier today about a Banshee sign with a joke you found offensive.

First off, if you were particularly upset by this joke because you or someone close to you has Tourette's I am very sorry and you should know that hurting people's feelings is never the intention of Banshee humor.

Secondly, I was curious as to which Banshee leader you messaged about this joke. If you had done so I guarantee we would have taken it down today. I know you have come to our table outside the pit in the past about a certain sign joke which I also agreed needed to be taken down and had already asked the troupe to do so. Unfortunately, we are not a perfect group and every now and then a joke will get through that we may not have found offensive but in reality actually is. The best way for us to get better, however, is for students to contact us directly and start a meaningful conversation in which we can begin to understand what exactly it was that bothered you. Angry statuses on facebook may not always reach us and it is my personal opinion that acts of ignorance and insensitivity (as you referred to our joke in your status) are best met with a mature, open dialogue.

Finally, I want to address the joke itself. While I may be damning myself by saying this I feel the need to be painfully honest-- As a troupe the Banshees are not motivated by a desire to hurt peoples' feelings but we are motivated by a desire to make light of the world around us. Obviously, there is a line but I don't think the line takes all diseases and medical disorders off the table. Just ask one of our members who has epilepsy or another who is a cancer survivor. The point is, the joke on the sign about tourette's was clearly not meant to offend a person with this condition. It was simply making light of the fact (if not in a positive way) that someone with tourette's often says some thoughts involuntarily aloud. Again, there is a line but if comedy is supposed to ignore all negative human experience then there is very little left to work with.

As Assistant Director of the troupe I am deeply concerned about the impact we have on Wake's student body. More than anything, this message is to show you that I (and the rest of the troupe) care greatly about your negative response and would be happy to talk more with you about what you think should or should not go on a sign. Again, I believe a dialogue in this situation would be better than individual facebook posts, but if you disagree I understand.

I appreciate you taking the time to read this and hope you find no other sign jokes to be hurtful, ignorant, insensitive, or anything else of the like.

Best, Caroline Drew

Friday, October 24, 2014

What Woke Me Up at 4:00 am

I was just woken up by some kind of bee on my face so now I cannot go back to sleep. 

Correction: I may never sleep again.

Honestly, bugs are terrifying. Can we all admit that? At least with an animal you can maybe reason with it. If something has visbile eyes I feel like I could talk it out of hurting me (note: this logic does not apply to Furbies).  You can maybe even domesticate a once-threatening animal and start a lifelong relationship with what is now your new pet. But with bugs it is simply war. You vs. Them. Especially in the dark when they could be anywhere. Sure, I killed the one who woke me up, but what if it wasn't alone? If there are others I can only hope they witnessed the execution of their comrade (smothered by pillow against concrete wall) and take its death as an example.

Yes, I can tell I'm starting to sound a little psychopath-ish here, but it's 4:15 am. And I was woken up by a bee. ON MY FACE.

Not everyone hates bugs. Do you know this kind of person? The kind who insists you don't kill the stinging bastard but trap it in a cup and release it back into the wild? It's the same type of person who likes to say, "It's more scared of you than you are of it." That is just not true. Bugs come into my home all the time. They get up in my face when I'm eating lunch. This summer, one got inside my sock and stung me right on the ankle. So no, I do not think bugs are afraid of me. In fact, I think they are ridiculously cocky and see me as nothing more than some giant moving pin cushion.

Ok, I have to stop writing about bugs because it's freaking me out. Let's see, what else can I post on this blog that everyone reads.....


My sister got engaged!!! 

You guys know my sister Mallie right? She's basically a living goddess who does stuff like exercise every day, perfect homemade recipes, and not log on to our family netflix account (i.e. goddess). Her fiance, Gifford, is pretty great too. And, yes, I could go on and on about how he's bilingual, a uva grad, a naval officer, blah blah blah, but I'd rather talk about the fact that his name is Gifford. How amazing is that? Like Clifford the Big Red Dog, only it's Gifford. The bar for significant others in our family has just been raised. Touche, Mallie, touche.

Speaking of engagements, I have something to say to all the people my age getting engaged:

ahem.


WHAT??????????????????????????WHY????!!!!!??????WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now let me be clear: I am not saying that people who get engaged at 22 haven't found "the one" or that they won't have a successful marriage. I just truly don't get it. I was under the impression that dating was a pretty good deal for us young twenty-somethings. It's like being married....just not as hard. Plus, being the heterosexual that I am, I'm pretty much dreading the whole "living with a guy" ordeal. I grew up with two brothers and- even though I love them dearly- I never wanted to share a bathroom with them. Maybe chalk it up to my immaturity or my selfishness (or a number of other personal flaws I haven't recognized yet) but this whole getting a ring before a degree thing has thrown me for a loop.

I have another thing to say to all the people my age getting engaged: Seriously, I wish you the best of luck. And I wish that someday marriage will not terrify me as much as waking up to a bug on my face.

Anyone still reading this? No? Okay, cool. Just me and my thoughts.

Here's a fun fact: sometimes I like to read the titles of news articles and nothing else. Not because I'm lazy -well, not only because of that- but because it can be pretty amusing to try and guess what could possibly come next.  Here's are some real examples from my BBC app:


"Could a monster shark have kept whales in check?"

"Thousands queue for 'meat stone'"

"China says no to Dumbledore" 

If anyone writes a faux-news article for one of those three and sends it to me I will post it on this blog. Which means a few hundred or so Americans will read your work, and even more Ukrainians (I'm not kidding. This website lets me see what country people are viewing the blog from and I am more popular in the Ukraine than I am in the US. And you know what they say- if you can make it in Eastern Europe, you can make it anywhere).

I don't know if I should be disturbed by this so much as I think that EPOWAIEUGOSNVJE I KID YOU NOT THERE IS ANOTHER BUG I REPEAT ANOTHER BUG THIS IS NOT A DRILL WHAT IS HAPPENING

You can't tell, but there has been a passage of time between this piece of text and the one prior. Another bug has lost its life in its quest to break down my sense of safety/ability to trust. I have nothing else to say. Good night (good morning). 

Monday, May 5, 2014

Social Media Has Been Cancelled Due to Lack of Hustle

This is an announcement- I, Caroline Drew, am taking a social media sabbatical. For the summer of 2014 I am deleting my facebook, twitter, instagram, and even (oh how I will miss the 5 second shots of your pets) snapchat. 

For those of you that fainted from shock/disgust/utter confusion, thank you for rejoining us. Please read with caution, however, because the above statement was not a joke. 

For those of you who are thinking "ok cool...I don't have any of those accounts either. What's the big deal?" To you I say: HOW ARE YOU SEEING THIS BLOG?! HA! CAUGHT YA!

Obviously, there are people out there who participate in all or some of these social media sites without it being an issue. Keep in mind, I plan on reviving all of my accounts come fall. My reasoning for temporarily jumping ship is as follows- wait, no, there is more than one reason. But so help me, I will not make a list. I will not. Do you hear me Buzzfeed???? 

I am not someone who has a Facebook, but rarely logs on. I am someone, however, who will scroll through Instagram ever hour. I am not someone who is on Twitter "just for news" (I'm skeptical that anyone really is. And if you are, there has got to be a better way to get the news than Twitter. Maybe this summer I will actually start reading the news and I will get back to you all on this topic). I am someone who has frequently abused the "my story" feature on Snapchat. And I do think that 'abused' is the appropriate term. 

The point is, not everyone needs a break from social media, but it's about time I detoxed. 

This summer I am trying to focus on positive, intentional living (Note: I've found that gargling listerine really rids your mouth of that cheesy cliche taste). I want to take pictures for memories' sake, not for other people. I want to have witty thoughts longer than 140 characters- because let's be real, I'm pretty witty (pretty witty? Ohhhh man! I can't be stopped!). Mostly, I want to focus on interacting with the people in my life in a genuine way that, at times, I have previously allowed social media communications to take place of. Selfishly, I am pumped about having a few less areas of my life that I feel the need to "check." If I could delete my email, trust me, I would. 

(For any Buzzfeed staff members who have stumbled upon this blog- the above section is what is commonly referred to as a 'paragraph.') 

And now, in memoriam ("but Caroline, you said this is only temporary??" Shh!! I'm doing something here!) of my time on social media, I will look back at some of my happier cyberweb moments. 

2004: Caroline creates her first email, and thus, AIM account. She chooses the name "dancequeen827" because- well, the reasons are obvious. 

2007: Caroline, at the then rebellious age of 14, activates her Facebook account. Sure, the photos uploaded during these first 2 (3,4...) years would essentially serve as blackmail later on, but who cares. She sure thought she was cute at the time and her wall-post game was killer. 

2010: Caroline joins the Twitter community. As many of her friends could guess, she has trouble fitting anything into such a small space, but like a wild animal bent on survival- she adapts. Nay, she thrives. 

2012: Caroline is now on Instagram. She is stumped by the filter "Toaster" but uses all others perfectly. 

2013: Caroline creates a snapchat handle and it's like she's never lived until now. Never before has she seen such a wide assortment of cute little kids, homework assignments (with the caption "ugh" or "literally can't"), and her friends faces contorted in the most unflattering ways. They last a few seconds, but those few seconds are glorious. 

RIP Caroline on Vine: Spring of 2013-Summer of 2013

Farewell for now social media. I will miss your many tabs and profiles. I will especially miss the way you allow me to share the most useless thoughts/pictures without repercussion. Special shout out to Twitter for that. 


If you want to facebook stalk me, retweet me, tag me in an instagram, or snapchat me yourself at the beach (don't do this, it's mean until I'm out of school too) you only have a few days left!!! 

p.s. Though it is unlikely, the blog might still resurface this summer through the social media mules I call my friends. And because they are the only ones that read this: ....I am sorry I called you all mules.

p.p.s. I know that in the past I have published articles on Buzzfeed. My sentiments towards said website, however, have changed. My breakup letter to Buzzfeed will surface onto this blog someday I'm sure, so stay tuned (ooooooh man! always keep 'em coming back for more, you, sly dog, you). 

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

How to Be #blessed and Get Your #100daysofHappy

By Caroline Drew

If your social media interactions connect you with females between the ages of 15 and 50, you have seen two #'s (generally referred to as 'hashtags') quite frequently lately: 

#blessed and #100daysofHappy. 

What do these hashtags mean? Which members of society have access to them? What does being #blessed feel like? Do you actually share a hundred posts for #100daysofHappy? In response to these social media phenomena, this reporter decided to investigate. 

First, let us begin with #blessed. This hashtag is not to be used lightly. After diligently poring over facebook statuses, instagram captions, twitter tweets, and blog posts, it appears that only (and I do mean only) the following subjects deserve the badge of blessedness: 

- Holidays
- Family Time
- Home-made Food
- Your Feet at the Beach
- Your Legs at the Beach
- Good Grades
- The Sky
- A New Season of Your Favorite TV Show
- Travel
- Your Job
- Sleeping In/Napping
- Working Out
- New Purchases
- Road Trips
- Hair-Dos
- Bible Verses
- Karate Class 
- Graffiti
- Paychecks
- Costume Parties
- Fruit
- Celebrity Crushes
- Mason Jar Crafts
- Songs on the Radio
- Pets
- Yoga Poses
- Hammocks
- Being too #blessed to be #stressed
- 2048 Game
- Kissing
- Losing Weight
- Flowers
- Constitutional Rights
- Pictures You Drew
- Friends
- Sorority Sisters (or "Friends")
- Birthdays
- Cute Children (your own,ones you babysit/took a creepy photo of in a restaurant)
- Anniversaries
- Your Parents' Anniversaries
- Friday
- Snow
- Unhealthy Food
-Healthy Food
- WiFi Access
- General Personal Milestones

The last item on the list is especially important and, undoubtedly,encompasses many of the others. Research revealed that #blessed is essentially interchangeable with #bejealousbecauseimastarASTARYOUHEARME. From being accepted to college, to getting engaged, to running a 5k- these achievements mean that you are justified in posting with #blessed. The blessing is that you are better than your friends and now, they have to be reminded of it. Jesus said "Blessed are #blessed because they are feeling so #blessed" - Luke 4:1034. 

Now it is time to examine our second hashtag: #100daysofHappy. A newer trend than #blessed, #100daysofHappy does not solely function descriptively; instead, #100daysofHappy is a project. Pay attention because, like in an upper level bio-chemical engineering lab, following instructions is key: 

1. Decide you are going to have your own #100daysofHappy
2. Every day, for 100 days, share a picture with the caption including #100daysofHappy

It would be prudent to re-read those directions until you've truly internalized their meaning and committed them to memory. 

Unlike #blessed, which one employs after a cheerful occurence, #100daysofHappy literally creates happiness. By captioning your filtered pictures of a Starbucks order or trees in the spring time, it is impossible to be melancholy. Psychologists across the country are prescribing the #100daysofHappy cure every day* (*in addition to actual medicines which affect one's endorphin/hormone level). 

Other social media captions to watch include #selfiesunday, #ootd, and various combinations of emojis. 

I hope no one is offended by this! Everything said was meant in jest! Plus, if this makes you feel self-conscious about your interactions on social media, just remember that I have a blog....so...I lose. 

p.p.s. I actually went through #blessed pictures on Instagram to make up the list above. 

Thursday, January 2, 2014

We're Afraid of the F Word

(disclaimer- if you read my blog for the silly stuff, this isn't that kind of post!)  

No, not that F word.  I don't think it would be right to say we are afraid of that F word. Many popular movies use it like it's a pronoun. Take a walk on any college campus and you're guaranteed to overhear it in at least a few conversations.

The F word you're not going to hear is this one: feminist. Now, so you don't have to, I'll go ahead and say it:

- A 20-something female college student writing about feminism? How original.
- Feminism?? All that stuff was handled in the 60's!!!!
- This isn't about the other F word?...I'm bored.

Yes, I am 20 years old, and yes, I am writing on a subject that many others have before me. Still, there's a reason that I, and the many before me, keep writing about this. But we'll get to that.

Back to the title of this article: We're Afraid of the F Word. And by the way, when I say "we" I mean girls like myself. Or women. Whatever you want to call us almost-basically-kind of adults who aren't guys. In my opinion, males aren't comfortable with this word either, but that's an issue for another time.

What does this F word even mean?

A) If you are a feminist you support equality between the sexes in our communities, whether they be in the local, national, or international sphere.
B) If you are a feminist you are an outdated, overly aggressive, probably lesbian who can't learn to leave well enough alone.

I'll admit, I just presented an extreme case of those who are not feminists and most likely offended some of you who think more along these lines:

"Of course I support equality, but I don't need to be a feminist. I like things the way they are. I'm not being oppressed and I'm a woman. So why bother getting all upset?"

The above statement contradicts itself, stereotypes women, and assumes an apathetic approach to real societal issues. Sound harsh? Well you should know that I have been the person thinking, saying, and supporting that very statement, so allow me to explain.

Contradicts itself: If you want there to be equality, then you don't need to be a feminist, you are a feminist.

Stereotypes women: You may not feel oppressed, but there are others that do. Many women who are the primary caregivers, single mothers, tomboys, homosexual, victims of sexual assault do feel oppressed because they are female. And there are, unfortunately, more I could add to that list. It is a disservice to other women if we assume that if we are not a victim then no one is.

Assumes an apathetic approach to real issues: Sexism is happening in the US. It's not always (but still is sometimes) something we can fight in a courtroom.  Many of the changes we need need to happen one person at a time. It's got to be a change in the way we talk about each other and to each other. Who is doing the victim-blaming, and who is calling who a slut? Who is telling who that a tough, hard-working, career minded woman is not feminine? If we're honest, the answer can often be "Me" or other women.

I did not become a feminist, but realized I was one all along.  A college professor of mine asked me if I was a feminist and I said no. She then asked me if I supported equitable rights between men and women. I said yes. After I connected a few more dots in my head, I realized that I was one of those terrible F words.

I told you earlier I would say why it is important (if moderately so) that I write this. It's important because I am not only 20 years old, but I am 20 years old, a Christian, born and raised in the southeast, and I love dresses. I also grew up playing with dolls, am heterosexual, and cry more than the average person. My hometown holds a special place in my heart and I do not resent my college campus nestled in the suburbs of North Carolina. I was raised by a father who has a career, and a mother who stayed at home and I loved it. All of this is meant to show you that you can be a feminist as you. The F word doesn't have to be so scary.

Be careful though, being a feminist as you entails allowing others to be feminists as themselves too. It's amazing how this attitude frees you up from all that stereotyping and generalizing. All of a sudden, that girl who only wears combat boots and t-shirts, and that girl who seems to live in the classroom (soon to be office), and that girl who loves another girl, well, they're not just feminists, they're feminine too. What it means to be female is so much bigger than one type of woman. 

Again, I don't mean this as an attack. Everyone has a right to their own opinions and beliefs. I don't expect you to be any more compromising than I am.

Finally, just for fun, I am including a little feminist manifesto of my own. It lacks proper research, authority, and, probably, intelligence, but it's how I understand being a feminism. Thanks for reading!


I am a feminist because I believe that there should be equality between the sexes. I believe that women are consistently stereotyped by societal expectations that are unfair and restricting. I believe that to treat a woman like a sex object is wrong. I believe that there is a culture of victim blaming concerning sexual assault that is not properly recognized or handled. I believe that often the discourse of our media, our educators, and our friends supports the vocal suppression of what is, in reality, a diverse and capable female voice. I am a feminist because, even if I only change the way I talk about women, that matters. Feminism is not a war on men, but a fight for women. 

p.s. You might be an F word too...
http://www.policymic.com/articles/20561/15-signs-you-re-actually-a-feminist

p.p.s. Some other people's thoughts on this issue













Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Insta-Advice for the New Year

By Caroline Drew

The holiday season comes to a close tonight, but don't turn off your cameras just yet! 

New Years Eve will round up the 2013 holidays and as one final gift to you this year, this reporter has reached out to the one and only Gina Michaels. Michaels is a renowned Instagram expert, known especially for her work with holiday Instagrams. 

"There's never a more important time to pick a filter," reads the tagline for Michaels's consulting firm MerryHappy Instagram. 

"MerryHappy Instagram succeeds because it's the only company of its kind. My clients are hungry, hungry for guidance, and I'm there to feed them. I'm always there," said Michaels in her New York office with a slightly uncomfortable level of intensity. 

Michaels went on to reveal that she's currently working on a new project: a self-help book. When asked if this publication would render her consulting firm essentially useless, the question was ignored. 

Michaels was kind enough to share an exclusive look into her new book, If You Don't Share, Who Cares (About You), here in this article. Enjoy these excerpts from her chapter on New Years Eve Instagrams. 


CHAPTER 9, All That Glitter is Instagram Gold

It's New Years Eve and people should know about it. Like I've said in earlier chapters- if you don't post about holidays on Instagram, how else would your followers know what day it is? Follow these tips to start the year off with a bang (and 100+ likes)!

1) I Spy a New Year: All NYE instagrams must include at least two of these items: champagne bottle, champagne glass,  20__ glasses, confetti popper, noise maker, and sparkly dress

2) Festive Filter: Avoid filters designated for other holidays (i.e. Earlybird and Christmas, Hudson and President's Day) and stick to NYE favorites: Toaster, Lo-Fi, and-- if you feel up to the challenge-- Inkwell. 

3) Cheers to Being Popular!: Want to make your followers jealous in a passive aggressive way? The ultimate "I'm at a party and, oops, you're not here" post is one featuring you and the other guests holding your glasses up in the air together. Make sure to include candid laughing and do not forget to tag those in the post. This way, any sad lonely followers can actually see who is more popular than them. 

4) Hashtag Hazy: Don't be afraid of the blur option tonight. If you want to convey your slight, but not too heavy, NYE buzz I strongly encourague use of the blur. It gives off a fun, carefree, drinking vibe that guarantees some double taps.

5) Auld Lang Video: If you're a fan of the Instagram videos, tonight is your night. Don't waste it on popping bottles or stumbling around in your glittery heels. No, wait until the countdown to midnight. This countdown will fit easily into the 15 second limit (hello, just 10 seconds!) and will truly ease your transition into the new year.

NYE INSTA-DON'T

- If you're at home alone, do not post an poor-me-post of you and your cat wearing festive hats from the year before. Pity likes aren't likes at all. 

If You Don't Share, Who Cares (About You) will be available this March in stores near you. 

(p.s. I really, really hope everyone knows this is a joke. happy 'gramming friends!)